A carer's guide to supporting an ageing parent in Australia

It rarely arrives with a clear start date. One day you're driving Mum to an appointment, the next you're managing her medications, chasing up the gardener, and worrying whether she's eating properly. Somewhere in there you became a carer, and nobody handed you a manual.

This guide is that manual, or as close as we can make it. It's written for the adult child stepping into the carer role for an ageing parent in Australia: how to start, where the help is, and how to do it without losing yourself in the process.

Start with a conversation, not a takeover

Before you organise anything, talk to your parent. This is their life, and the fastest way to meet resistance is to arrange things over their head.

Ask open questions. What's getting harder? What would make day-to-day life easier? What matters most to them: staying in their own home, staying near friends, keeping their independence? Listen more than you plan.

Three practical things worth raising early, while your parent can still take part in the decisions:

• Where their important documents are (will, super, insurance, bank details).
• Whether they have an enduring power of attorney and an enduring guardian set up. These let a trusted person make financial and care decisions if your parent later can't. Get legal advice; the rules differ by state.
• Their wishes for care, including any advance care directive about medical treatment.

These conversations are awkward. Have them anyway, and have them early. They're far harder during a crisis.

Get the free assessment: My Aged Care and ACAT

In Australia, the front door to government-subsidised aged care is My Aged Care. Call 1800 200 422 or visit myagedcare.gov.au. You can call on your parent's behalf with their consent.

My Aged Care arranges an assessment to work out what support your parent is eligible for. There are two levels:

• A support-at-home / entry-level assessment for lower-level help (cleaning, meals, social support, minor home modifications), often delivered through the Commonwealth Home Support Programme.
• An ACAT assessment (Aged Care Assessment Team) for higher needs: a Home Care Package, residential aged care, or residential respite. This is more in-depth and is done by a health professional, usually in the home.

Both assessments are free. We have a separate guide on what to expect from an ACAT assessment if you want the detail.

Understand the main support options

Once assessed, your parent may be eligible for one or more of these. Think of them as a ladder, from light-touch to full-time.

Help at home (entry level)

Cleaning, meal delivery, transport, social outings, basic home maintenance, personal care. Delivered through the Commonwealth Home Support Programme for people with lower needs. You pay a contribution.

Home Care Packages

For people who need more coordinated, ongoing support to stay at home, there are four levels of Home Care Package, from basic to high care. The package is a budget your parent (with a provider) manages to buy the support they need. There's often a waiting period, so apply early. Our guide comparing Home Care Packages and the CHSP breaks this down.

Residential aged care

When staying at home is no longer safe or sustainable, a permanent place in an aged care home may be the answer. This is a bigger decision, financially and emotionally. We have full guides on getting a parent into aged care, the fees involved, and the questions to ask when choosing a home.

Respite care

You don't have to wait for a crisis to take a break. Respite gives you time off while your parent is cared for, in their home, at a day centre, or in a short residential stay. See our respite care section.

Money: the conversation nobody enjoys

Aged care in Australia is part government-subsidised, part user-pays, and the costs depend on your parent's income and assets. A few pointers:

• Get the fees in writing before agreeing to any service.
• Consider independent financial advice. Aged care financial decisions, especially residential care and the family home, are complex and the wrong move can cost tens of thousands. A specialist aged care financial adviser is often worth the fee. See our financial advice section.
• Check what you're entitled to. As your parent's carer, you may qualify for a Carer Payment or Carer Allowance through Services Australia. Our guide on carer payments covers the detail.

Practical systems that save your sanity

Caring is part logistics. A few systems make a huge difference:

• One folder, physical or digital, with medications, conditions, specialists, Medicare and My Aged Care numbers, and key contacts. Update it as things change.
• A shared calendar if siblings are involved, so appointments and shifts don't fall through the cracks.
• A medication routine you trust: a Webster pack from the pharmacy can take the daily guesswork out.
• A list of who does what among the family, in writing. Resentment grows fastest where the load is invisible and unequal.

Don't carry it alone

This is the part carers skip, so we'll say it plainly: you cannot do this on willpower indefinitely.

• Register with Carer Gateway (1800 422 737). It offers counselling, peer support, coaching, and help arranging respite, all free.
• Lean on community. Many older people, and their carers, are quietly isolated. Local community centres, senior centres and groups can give your parent connection and you a breather. If your dad's at a loose end, even a Men's Shed or U3A class can be transformative for his mood and your week.
• Share the load with siblings honestly. If they can't be hands-on, can they take on the paperwork, the finances, the phone calls? Caring at a distance still counts.

A rough roadmap

If you're at the very start and don't know where to begin:

1. Have the conversation with your parent about what's getting harder.
2. Sort the legal basics: power of attorney, guardianship, advance care directive.
3. Call My Aged Care (1800 200 422) and request an assessment.
4. Match services to needs using the assessment outcome and our directory.
5. Check your entitlements as a carer with Services Australia.
6. Set up your systems: the folder, the calendar, the medication routine.
7. Book yourself some respite and register with Carer Gateway. Yes, now, not later.

Frequently asked questions

My parent refuses help. What do I do?
This is common, and it's usually about fear of losing independence. Frame help as keeping them independent and in their home longer. Start small with one service. Involve their GP, whom they may trust more than you on this.

Do I need power of attorney to help with their care?
Not for everyday help, but for managing finances or making decisions if your parent loses capacity, yes. Set it up while they still have capacity; you can't do it afterward. Get legal advice for your state.

Is My Aged Care assessment really free?
Yes. Both the entry-level assessment and the ACAT assessment are free. You pay only for the services you then use, based on your parent's means.

Can I be paid to care for my parent?
You may be eligible for Carer Payment and/or Carer Allowance through Services Australia, depending on the level of care and the income and assets tests. See our guide on carer payments and support.

You're doing something hard and good

Stepping up for an ageing parent is one of the most demanding things a person does, and most carers do it quietly, with no training and little thanks. Get the assessment, take the help, protect your own health, and remember the services in this directory exist to share the weight.

Explore aged care options, compare home care and residential aged care, or browse the community supports that can help your parent stay connected.