How to choose a residential aged care home (with questions to ask on a tour)

Choosing an aged care home is one of those decisions where you want to get it right and you're worried you won't. The good news: you can do this well. It comes down to knowing what matters, doing the homework, and trusting what you see and feel when you visit. Here's how.

Start with what actually matters

Before you compare a single home, get clear on the person's needs and wishes. A beautiful foyer means nothing if the home can't care for someone with dementia, or if it's two hours from family who'd visit weekly.

Jot down the non-negotiables:

• Care needs: dementia care, complex nursing, mobility support, palliative care down the track
• Location: close to the people who'll actually visit, not just convenient on a map
• Culture and language: food, faith, community, a language spoken by staff
• Lifestyle: the things that make a day good for this particular person
• Budget: what's realistic once you understand the costs

Rank them. When you're choosing between two homes later, this list breaks the tie.

Do the desk research first

You can rule a lot in or out without leaving home.

1. Check the star ratings. Every home has an official rating across care, staffing, residents' experience and compliance. Start with our guide to aged care star ratings, then look the home up on My Aged Care's "Find a provider" tool.
2. Read the compliance record. The Aged Care Quality and Safety Commission publishes regulatory action against providers. A serious recent sanction is a reason to ask hard questions.
3. Look at availability and waiting lists. A home you love with a two-year wait may not help if a place is needed soon.
4. Shortlist. Aim for three or four homes to visit. You can search Our Mate for homes near you to build that list.

Visit. Always visit.

Brochures and websites are marketing. You learn the truth by walking in. Visit your shortlist, and where you can, drop in a second time unannounced or at a different hour. A home that's calm at 11am can look very different at 5pm when everyone needs help at once.

What to notice the moment you walk in

• Does it smell clean, or is there a lingering odour staff have stopped noticing?
• Are residents up, dressed, occupied, and engaged, or parked in front of a TV?
• Do staff greet residents by name? Do they look rushed off their feet?
• Is it warm, light, and homely, or institutional and echoey?
• Are call bells being answered, or ringing and ringing?

Trust your gut here. You've spent a lifetime reading rooms.

Questions to ask on a tour

Take this list with you. Don't be shy, good homes expect these questions and answer them happily. A defensive or vague answer tells you something too.

About care and staff

• What's the ratio of registered nurses to residents, day and night?
• Is there a registered nurse on site 24 hours a day?
• How do you handle a resident's changing needs over time, do they have to move?
• How do you care for residents with dementia? Is there a dedicated area?
• What's your approach to restrictive practices (restraints, medication to manage behaviour)?
• How is staff turnover? Will Mum see familiar faces?
• How do you manage falls, pressure injuries and medication?

About daily life

• Can I see a typical week's activities calendar?
• Can residents get up and go to bed when they choose?
• What's the food like, and can I see a menu? Can I join a meal?
• How do you cater for special diets, allergies, cultural or religious needs?
• Can residents go outside easily? Is there a garden?
• What are the visiting hours, and can family join for meals or events?

About the room and the contract

• Can I see the actual room being offered, not just a show room?
• Can residents bring their own furniture and belongings?
• What does the basic daily fee cover, and what costs extra?
• Are there any optional "higher everyday living" fees, and what do they buy?
• What happens to the room and fees if my parent goes to hospital?

About trust and communication

• How and how often will you keep family informed?
• How do residents and families raise concerns or complaints?
• Can I speak to a current resident or family member?
• What were your last assessment results, and can I see them?

Red flags worth taking seriously

Some things should make you slow down:

• Staff who seem stretched to breaking point
• Residents left in distress or calling out unattended
• Reluctance to show you a real resident's room
• Evasiveness about fees, ratings, or recent compliance action
• Strong pressure to sign or pay quickly
• A locked-down feel, where you sense families aren't really welcome

One red flag isn't always a dealbreaker, but a cluster of them is your answer.

A simple decision framework

When you've visited your shortlist, score each home out of 5 on the things you ranked earlier. Something like:

Factor	Home A	Home B	Home C
Quality of care (and star rating)
Staff warmth and staffing levels
Location for visitors
Daily life and activities
Food
Feel on the day
Cost and contract clarity

Weight the factors that matter most to your family more heavily. The numbers won't make the decision for you, but they'll show you where your instinct and the evidence agree, and where they don't.

Don't skip the contract

When you're offered a place, you'll get a Resident Agreement and an accommodation agreement. These are real contracts. Read them. Better still, have someone who reads contracts for a living, or an aged care financial adviser, read them with you before anyone signs. Pay attention to fees, refunds, what happens during hospital stays, and how either side can end the agreement.

Frequently asked questions

How many homes should we visit?
Three or four is a good target. Enough to compare, not so many you can't keep them straight.

Is a five-star home always better than a four-star one?
Not necessarily for your situation. A four-star home that's brilliant at dementia care and five minutes from family may beat a five-star home an hour away. Use ratings to shortlist, not to decide.

Should we tell Mum we're looking, or sort it first?
Wherever possible, involve the person. It's their home and their life. Even when capacity is reduced, their preferences and feelings matter and should guide you.

What if we choose and it's not right?
You can move. It's disruptive, but people do change homes, and a good provider won't trap you.

The bottom line

Choosing well isn't about finding the fanciest building. It's about matching real care needs to a place that delivers them, close enough for the people who love them to keep showing up. Do the desk research, visit in person, ask the hard questions, and listen to your gut alongside the star ratings.

When you're ready to build a shortlist, search Our Mate for homes in your area, then read up on star ratings and costs before you tour.